my mother is 78 her mind is still sharp as ever she just never really got tech. every power outage for years i would get called to set her vcr clock...so she isn't tech friendly but i have made the basics of alexa and echo use work with and fit her life. she uses it daily and for our family it has become a great aid.
to begin with i keep everything as simple as i can for her. when setting up lights for example i tell her if for any reason she can't get alexa to turn on a light she just needs to go and manually flip the switch off and back on. then i can address the issue regardless of cause without her being concerned about her not having access to 'things.'
for our mom independence is more important than most anything. so i only setup a few automated things but only after sitting down with and discussing the matter. trying to find how her needs, our needs could best be met. easing her tech fears was no easy job, still isn't.
we placed just one alexa enabled light in each room, all others she still operates manually. i named each one of those lights so she could easily remember them. i named them by the room they are in, e.g. the kitchen light just named 'kitchen.' i then explained to her all she needed to remember was the room she was in and to say alexa for example kitchen on or off. she got that immediately with no refreshers needed. she has two plugs also, one for her coffee maker and the other for seasonal use like her fan.
the drop in feature has been a true stress reducer for both. having that setup, all she needs do is remember the 'names' to drop in to. she drops in on me every morning. she lives alone so you can imagine the benefits of that feature for her peace of mind and ours. unfortunately she tends to fall. that's why we put echos in most every room. i also put in two echo linked cameras. bonus with them she has additional means to get alexa's attention so to speak and get help if needed.
i made her a cheat sheet a 6x6 card with those main commands and names on one side. on the reverse names of places to drop in to, how to change volume, what light colors mean. she knows how to ask alexa basic questions, weather, conversions e.g. tablespoons in a pint, she's good there. her hearing isn't what is was so i made a point of placing the echos at eye level. that way if she doesn't hear them go off she can see the light rings moving. last but not least she knows where the power strip is that the modem/router is. that way she can power cycle it easily with the flick of a switch if i am not there to do it for her.
the most important hurdle for me was to remove the intimidation factor. to simplify echo use so as to ensure it got used regularly, multiple times a day. skills go both ways with respect to the saying, 'use it or lose it.' for us this endeavor it's working. hopefully it will for you as well.